Tag, you're it!

I changed the title of our blog.  Because, it's not just mine.  It's an adventure.  A tag team adventure.  Because I can't do it alone.  And I shouldn't have to.  And I try, and it doesn't work. 

It's called MARRIAGE.  And this isn't 1920.  And I'm not a feminist or anything, but it's not my sole responsibility to house, nurture, feed, groom, pick up after, clean up after, yell at, discipline, and so on, ON MY OWN.  I'm not a single mom.  I have a husband.  The children's FATHER! 

And he is good.  He's not me, but he'll do.  Because let's be honest.  No man can do what a woman does.  I'm not bashing men or anything.  Believe me.  I love my husband.  He's amazing.  But the past week and a half has made it abundantly clear to me that he just can't do it like I do it.  And frankly, he doesn't want to!  He doesn't like it!

I don't blame him. 

It's exhausting. 

You know that Built Ford Tough commercial?  They're talking about moms.  Built mom tough.  There's other trucks that are like that Ford, but none can do even remotely what that Ford does!  They can try to be like the Ford.  They can make themselves look like it, act like it, but they aren't it!  They don't have a vagina in their Ford.  I'm pretty sure it's scientifically proven.  Men can not multi task without getting flustered and blowing a gasket or needing a break check, or a new steering wheel.  Men want to try to act like they can do it all, but when shit hits the fan, they run screaming and hide in their rooms waiting for the mom to step in and take over.  Mind you, if a man tried to step in a take over, the Ford tough mom, would eat them alive.  Like, praying mantis style.  You don't ever take over what mama bear is doing!  Shut your mouth until she says otherwise!


So, last week when I tore my Achilles and drove myself to the hospital, and then to the x ray place down the street, and then called my husband and was like, Oh I'm not supposed to drive.  And he was all, cool I guess I'll come home from work then.  Yes.  Yes you should.  And for 4 days I sat on the couch and elevated and iced my foot.  While he took care of the children.  And the house, and the cooking and the cleaning and the dog.  And after three days you know what?  He got PISSED.  I couldn't remember the password to our bank account and asked him to call to find out what it was and he about lost his shit!  Because I couldn't remember, and WHERE DID HIS HAS-IT-TOGETHER-ALL-THE-TIME-WIFE GO?!?! Wow. 

I guess I forgot to tell him that I had tagged him in?  Sorry husband.  I'm really sorry I hurt myself.  Really.  Really! 

Never in my life...

Never in my teenage years, or before that even, did I think about what happens AFTER you get married and have kids.  NEVER did I think I'd be scathing the internet for things like "natural constipation antidotes" and "omegas for your dog."  Because, yeah.  That's what I'm doing today.  Hanging out with the kids on their day off from school, while dad's at work and Tabby sits here constipated.  And the dog has a rash that is supposedly caused by lack of fish in his diet.  Seriously, folks. 

I mean, it's cool.  My kid has pooh issues, my dog's special, we're all a little... nuts.  And I'm sure there are at least 800 million more people doing the same thing that I'm doing today. 

So here's what I found in the way of helping your child pooh:

 http://www.emedicinehealth.com/constipation_in_children/article_em.htm

*Changes in diet, or a different diet affect bowel habits. In adults, high-fiber diets have been shown to improve bowel function. In children, however, high-fiber diets have not been proven to improve constipation. Infants and children who eat well-balanced meals typically are not constipated.

*Teenagers and toddlers who eat a lot of sugar and desserts are prone to difficult passing of their stools. 

So my whole theory of increasing her fiber just went out the window, and obviously we should lay off the cookies...

A common treatment used by parents is adding Karo syrup or other light or dark corn syrups to their infant's bottles of formula. While this is often discouraged because of the theoretical risk of botulism, the AAP reports that it is safe to do.

So I guess I'll try this in her juice? 

 www.babycenter.com

Eating too many low-fiber foods. If your child eats lots of milk, cheese, yogurt, or peanut butter, for instance, and not enough fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, she could wind up constipated.

CRAP.  These are seriously all her favorite foods right now.  Major switch needs to happen. 

Dr Sears: 

 

Use natural laxatives. When using a laxative, try the most natural first. Begin with diluted prune juice (with pulp), a tablespoon or two for the six- month-old and as much as eight ounces for the toddler. Try strained prunes or make a prune puree (stew your own or buy commercial), either straight or disguised (mixed with a favorite food), or spread it on a high-fiber cracker. Apricots and the four P's – prunes, pears, plums, and peaches – usually exert a laxative effect. 

Interesting... 

Pretty much they all say to increase fiber which counters the first website.  But isn't that what the internet's about?  Counter acting everything!!! 

I guess I'll try some of this stuff... and see what happens.  And now to find my dog some fish oil.  Jeeeeez