Tag, you're it!

I changed the title of our blog.  Because, it's not just mine.  It's an adventure.  A tag team adventure.  Because I can't do it alone.  And I shouldn't have to.  And I try, and it doesn't work. 

It's called MARRIAGE.  And this isn't 1920.  And I'm not a feminist or anything, but it's not my sole responsibility to house, nurture, feed, groom, pick up after, clean up after, yell at, discipline, and so on, ON MY OWN.  I'm not a single mom.  I have a husband.  The children's FATHER! 

And he is good.  He's not me, but he'll do.  Because let's be honest.  No man can do what a woman does.  I'm not bashing men or anything.  Believe me.  I love my husband.  He's amazing.  But the past week and a half has made it abundantly clear to me that he just can't do it like I do it.  And frankly, he doesn't want to!  He doesn't like it!

I don't blame him. 

It's exhausting. 

You know that Built Ford Tough commercial?  They're talking about moms.  Built mom tough.  There's other trucks that are like that Ford, but none can do even remotely what that Ford does!  They can try to be like the Ford.  They can make themselves look like it, act like it, but they aren't it!  They don't have a vagina in their Ford.  I'm pretty sure it's scientifically proven.  Men can not multi task without getting flustered and blowing a gasket or needing a break check, or a new steering wheel.  Men want to try to act like they can do it all, but when shit hits the fan, they run screaming and hide in their rooms waiting for the mom to step in and take over.  Mind you, if a man tried to step in a take over, the Ford tough mom, would eat them alive.  Like, praying mantis style.  You don't ever take over what mama bear is doing!  Shut your mouth until she says otherwise!


So, last week when I tore my Achilles and drove myself to the hospital, and then to the x ray place down the street, and then called my husband and was like, Oh I'm not supposed to drive.  And he was all, cool I guess I'll come home from work then.  Yes.  Yes you should.  And for 4 days I sat on the couch and elevated and iced my foot.  While he took care of the children.  And the house, and the cooking and the cleaning and the dog.  And after three days you know what?  He got PISSED.  I couldn't remember the password to our bank account and asked him to call to find out what it was and he about lost his shit!  Because I couldn't remember, and WHERE DID HIS HAS-IT-TOGETHER-ALL-THE-TIME-WIFE GO?!?! Wow. 

I guess I forgot to tell him that I had tagged him in?  Sorry husband.  I'm really sorry I hurt myself.  Really.  Really! 

Never in my life...

Never in my teenage years, or before that even, did I think about what happens AFTER you get married and have kids.  NEVER did I think I'd be scathing the internet for things like "natural constipation antidotes" and "omegas for your dog."  Because, yeah.  That's what I'm doing today.  Hanging out with the kids on their day off from school, while dad's at work and Tabby sits here constipated.  And the dog has a rash that is supposedly caused by lack of fish in his diet.  Seriously, folks. 

I mean, it's cool.  My kid has pooh issues, my dog's special, we're all a little... nuts.  And I'm sure there are at least 800 million more people doing the same thing that I'm doing today. 

So here's what I found in the way of helping your child pooh:

 http://www.emedicinehealth.com/constipation_in_children/article_em.htm

*Changes in diet, or a different diet affect bowel habits. In adults, high-fiber diets have been shown to improve bowel function. In children, however, high-fiber diets have not been proven to improve constipation. Infants and children who eat well-balanced meals typically are not constipated.

*Teenagers and toddlers who eat a lot of sugar and desserts are prone to difficult passing of their stools. 

So my whole theory of increasing her fiber just went out the window, and obviously we should lay off the cookies...

A common treatment used by parents is adding Karo syrup or other light or dark corn syrups to their infant's bottles of formula. While this is often discouraged because of the theoretical risk of botulism, the AAP reports that it is safe to do.

So I guess I'll try this in her juice? 

 www.babycenter.com

Eating too many low-fiber foods. If your child eats lots of milk, cheese, yogurt, or peanut butter, for instance, and not enough fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, she could wind up constipated.

CRAP.  These are seriously all her favorite foods right now.  Major switch needs to happen. 

Dr Sears: 

 

Use natural laxatives. When using a laxative, try the most natural first. Begin with diluted prune juice (with pulp), a tablespoon or two for the six- month-old and as much as eight ounces for the toddler. Try strained prunes or make a prune puree (stew your own or buy commercial), either straight or disguised (mixed with a favorite food), or spread it on a high-fiber cracker. Apricots and the four P's – prunes, pears, plums, and peaches – usually exert a laxative effect. 

Interesting... 

Pretty much they all say to increase fiber which counters the first website.  But isn't that what the internet's about?  Counter acting everything!!! 

I guess I'll try some of this stuff... and see what happens.  And now to find my dog some fish oil.  Jeeeeez

 

So annoying.

I know this is so lame, but if I ever told my husband he was "so annoying" as much as any Kardashian tells their husband/boyfriend that, I'd expect to be single.  It's SO RUDE.  Even if it's joking.  It's just mean. 

And I know I'm ridiculous because it's the Kardashians.  I know I'm not always sunshine to my hubby but dude, dude, DUDE.  Be respectful.  Please? 

Happy I'm married to a respectful person.  I should be a little nicer to him I think.  I love that guy.  For sure.

Gingerbread swirl cake with maple icing

Normally, I don't like gingerbread cake or cookies.  They are always just so overpowering and weird.  BUT I love the smell.  So I thought I'd try something new. I love the boxed gingerbread cake mix that Trader Joes sells this time of year.  So I buy 4 or 5 and the kids and I make cookies out of them and decorate them to give to the neighbors.  But this year I wanted to do something different.  Call it, change!

So I'm writing this on my blog for next year so I remember what I did.  Because, it, was, amazing.

And so freakin easy.Bonus!

 For the cake:
1 box gingerbread cake mix
1 box yellow cake mix (I used pillsbury)
*Follow directions to prepare both cake batters in separate bows.

In a greased 13x9 pour in the yellow cake batter. Pour the gingerbread cake batter over the top of the yellow cake batter.  Use a knife to swirl the cakes together and make sure to lift up on the knife to really get it mixed.  Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes or until the toothpick trick.  Cool on a wire rack and then turn over onto a platter for icing.

For the icing:


3 tablespoons of maple syrup (or 1/2 that of maple flavor)
1 cup of confectioners sugar
splash of milk.

Mix together until smooth and not too runny.  If it's too runny add more sugar.

Pour over the COOLED cake.  Cut into squares and eat heaven.

Seriously.  YUM!

Frustration

Sometimes I really want to shake my child and yell: YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!!!!!

But that would be wrong... right?!

November...

At the end of this month, D and I will be married for 9 years.  NINE years.  It seems so long.  And we're not even old!  We got married young!  I'm still trying to figure out how that happened so fast.  Lived in 4 places, dealt with a teenager, had 3 kids, went through a lot of crap, and some seriously amazing amazing wonderful times.  And the most wonderful part, the good outweighs the bad 100 fold.  I swear.  I'm sure that's why we work so well.  Because no matter how crappy, we can over come it and it just gets better.  It is truly amazing.  Never thought I could be so happy with one person.  It's so cliche!

Watching our friends, and family members go through tumultuous relationships, and ultimately get divorced I think has actually made us work harder at our relationship.  Not because we don't want to end up like them, but well, yes! Because we don't want to end up like them!  Everyone thinks that marriage is easy and you just sit back and pick your nose and if it works then it works.  It's just not true.  It's sometimes nasty knock down drag out fights, cries, screams, time alone, talking, lots of talking, and working on ourselves and our relationship.  It's just not that we got lucky.  Seriously.  It's that we give a shit.  Because when you don't give a shit, you get just that; shit. 

I'm trying to figure out what to do for our anniversary.  We trade off years so that we both get a chance to plan our anniversaries.  It's fun.  I learned that little tid bit from my parents.  We like to take a little time to ourselves, nothing big.  Although D would probably like to go a way for more than 2 nights without the kids.  I can't do that yet.  I'm a big weenie.  So it'll be something... I've got a little something up my sleeve.  And, it's the day before Thanksgiving so we'll be going early.  

But I think I'll try to make this a month long celebration.  Because really, we are amazing.  And I love love love that husband of mine.  I am a lucky girl.  I can't wait for another 9 years of bliss, and then one day we'll look back and it'll be 59 years of bliss.  Happy!!

Coming along...

Exciting things are happening with mommy in the next couple months!  I'm well on my way into developing a business plan, and setting the wheels in motion!  So exciting!! 
Trying to get so much squared away, it's crazy how much you have to do to get a business license.  Plus we have 50 million things going on this month.  I am guessing I will have everything smooth and ready January 1.  And this time, there is NO backing down.  I am making a promise to myself that I WILL get my business license, I will get my training done, and I WILL get my business off the ground in 2012.  There's no time like the present and the present is NOW!
I had the best wedding last weekend, and it really made me realize, that now the kids are capable of hanging with daddy for a night so that mommy can work and do something she loves!  They survived, daddy survived, and mommy didn't feel too guilty.  And that was amazing.  And I got some fantastic referrals! 
Go me!