I have a freakin ONE year old...

Crazy.

A year has FLOWN by.

My baby. My little tiny baby with whom I've been home with EVERY day for the past year, and even before when she was in my belly... is ONE! WOW.

It's so much different than Izzy. It's almost guilty different.

When Izzy was born, I only had 11 weeks of maternity leave and then I had to go back to work. We were in no position to be able to afford me staying home, and frankly it never even entered my mind. I worked close by my parents house, so I'd come home for lunch and nurse her and play with her, and then go back to work only to pick her up 4 hours later. Every day for 3 years I did this with Izzy. D was home a lot more than I was at the time and he was the one that took care of her. He did doctor's appointments, he took her to Gymboree, he did everything with her. I watched from the sidelines, and only heard about it on the phone, or saw the pictures. I was ok with it because I didn't know any better. I think my mom pretended like all of Izzy's "firsts" were only when I was there. I never questioned it.

Then I got pregnant again with Avery when Izzy was two and a half, and... I got laid off. Honestly. The BEST thing that ever happened to me. I got to wind down my pregnancy with Izzy at home with me every day. We got to bond a little bit before Avery stepped in. I got to take Izzy to her first day of pre school, and I just got to be there for her.

Then the baby came and I was the smitten kitten. I had a little mini me. She was so calm, so easy, so happy. So the OPPOSITE of what I remembered Izzy was when she was itty bitty. She slept, she ate, slept again, only cried when she needed to be changed, and really pretty much is still this way. But this time, I got to BE there. I didn't have to run back to my crappy job, because D was doing so great at the ambulance job, and he was right in the middle of interviewing for his now fire job. I got to be a full time mom. I never thought I'd love it so much.

It's almost like I feel guilty. Like Izzy missed out on mommy not being home with her. But then again, Izzy got a special piece of daddy. She got her stay at home daddy. I think that's why she's so conflicted now when he goes to work. She's so used to dad, she gets all gurfuffled when he leaves her. She tells me all the time that I need to go back to work so daddy can stay home with her. Poor thing.

I seriously can't believe it's been a year since my little Avery came. She's got my looks, and her daddy's laid back attitude. Maybe that's why we get along so well. She's my little cuddle bug, always smiling, always chatting away in her baby gabber, and just hanging out laughing at Izzy. I love it. It's SO much fun watching her and Izzy mesh together. I can see where their conflicts are going to be already. But I can see how much they complement each other like D and I complement eachother. G just loves Avery. She makes funny faces at her and always tells her how cute she is. Avery loves to stand in her doorway and dance. It's pretty funny. The girls are just so fun to watch. I really love being at home with them to take care of them and keep them happy and healthy. It's kinda cheezy, but it's great.

Now all I need is a boy. Just because it would be so fun to have a rambunctious little man to intermix with all the crazy girls. Heck, another girl would be fine too, but a boy would be sooooooooo cool!

I'm very content. I totally want to finish school and start my own business, but I'm not in a hurry. I'm busy being a MOM! What a nerd!

Good god, I have a ONE year old! I'm getting old fast!