10 years...

10 years ago tomorrow.  You know what I was doing? 

At 6AM I woke up with my hubby (then boyfriend) , watched him put on his Cal Fire uniform, drove him over to his grandparents house to borrow a car while his was in the shop, kissed him goodbye, drove back home and turned on Good Morning America.  And pretty much after that... my life and every single American's lives were changed forever. 

I never got up before 6:30am.  EVER.  So it was odd that I was wide awake and watching the news.  We had heard some scuttle on the radio in the short car ride to D's grandparents, but we weren't sure what was going on so dismissed it pretty quickly.  We had no idea what was unfolding 3 hours ahead of us in New York.  I sat there and watched the first tower burn and thought, man that's a nasty fire.  That just doesn't seem right.  No one even mentioned "terrorists."  It wasn't a word that was used very often 10 years ago.  And then as I watched the live feed, a crazy feeling came over me, as I watched a plane turn right, cock it's wings so that it was sideways, and ram right into tower 2.  I can still feel myself watching it like it just happened.  And I sat there.  And sat a little more.  And then I realized that MY DAD was in Chicago in the Sears Tower and Oh my God they just blew up the Pentagon, and Oh my God another plane just crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. 
I called my mom who was still sleeping and told her to call my dad and get him the hell out of there!  Luckily he was already being evacuated. 

And why the world was changing, and people were watching in complete horror, you know what my husband was doing?  He was going to work.  He was listening on the radio, driving his hour and half commute, in his uniform, and he kept driving.  And he drove to work, and he stayed there.  For four days he stayed there.  He stayed even though 343 firefighters died that day.  He stayed as EMS and Police and human life died that day.  And 10 years later, you know where he is?  He's in a different uniform, but he's still there.  And to me, that makes him the bravest person on my earth.  Because he stayed.  He knew his fate.  After 9/11 I saw a light in his eye that I had never seen before and I knew his destiny was clear.  And I could not be more proud of the man I call my husband. 

I am a proud wife of a firefighter/EMS provider.  And I grieve every day for those who lost a loved one on 9/11.  But I am so grateful for those brave men and women who helped so many escape.  Those who like my husband, did not run, but they stayed.  Just as I know my husband would have if he had been there.