Amazing weight loss tool!

D's been on a mission to lose 10 pounds. He says 15, I say 10 because seriously if he lost those extra 5, he'd look like a wafer in his jeans, and I like his cute butt the way it is. He's done AMAZING with his fitness regime. Since we got married in 2002 he's lost about 40 pounds by going to the gym and cutting out red meat as much as possible, but for a while now he's been stuck at this last 10. I'm so proud of him. He looks freaking fantastic!

So my brother in law in the last six months has managed to drop 90 POUNDS just by diet and exercise. It's incredible. He looks like a completely different person. He looks healthy, his skin looks amazing, and he just SEEMS so much happier! I think D's a little jealous... in a good way of course, but now he's more determined than ever to kick that extra 10 off the scale! So my brother in law has been giving him the skinny (no pun intended) on how he totally changed his diet and goes nuts at the gym. I've been listening! And now, with a little push in the right direction, I think I can get D to get over the hump and be comfortable and happy in his own skin.

In my quest to find out how to help him eat better, I came across this FABULOUS website! http://www.mypyramid.gov/index.html . I have never heard mention of this website before. I was reading some of the forums in ask.com and came across it. I was a bit shocked it wasn't the first web page on google that pops up when you type in "weight loss tool."

I had NO idea the government participates in something so cool, and why people are not talking about, or even broadcasting it to the world! It's the easiest VISUAL tool I could find to understand how much grains, veggies, fruits, and what-nots D is supposed to be eating per day. I mean dude, I got to print out this multi-colored food pyramid with specific amounts on it and pin it to the fridge! Hello awesome! I'm in love! You just input a few details, like age, weight and height and viola! Instant food pyramid based on the calories you SHOULD be intaking per day. It's a great tool for the whole family really! Talk about getting motivated to have a better healthier life!

I'm hoping this works. We went shopping today and are slowly switching out all food for better choices. I'm excited to see how well we do with this plan and if the food guide from the website works.

See... it's not so bad when the government intervenes! (Insert devilish grin here!)

It's like... liberating, but in a republican sort of way.

Ahhhhhh. There's something so wonderfully liberating about a great haircut!

I cut my hair off. Well, actually my friend Stacy (the greatest hair stylist in the WORLD) cut off my hair. I was seriously scared. I might have even closed my eyes a little while she was cutting it.

I've had the same hair cut for as long as I can remember. Seriously, besides maybe changing the color to something totally NON drastic, I've had the same boring old hair down to my shoulder blades forever. I'm not exactly one for change, I guess. I'm a republican dang it! We're happy with the way things are, blinders and all... just leave us alone! D has always liked my long hair and told me that I wasn't allowed to cut it. The hair was pretty much the only control of anything he has in this house, so I let him believe I would have long hair forever... to make him happy. Luckily, he's been at work for the last two days and still hasn't seen it. Tee hee. I explained to him that in order to grow my hair long and healthy again, it required a substantial cut. He does not understand chick hair.

It's not even that short. I mean it's the shortest I've ever had in my life, but it's still sorta laying on my shoulders and it's all pretty and highlighted. I can put it in a little nub of a pony tail. I absolutely LOVE it! The color, the cut, the liberation. It's just so nice to have my head look a little different for a while. It's making me want to get up and go do something fabulous... I think that's exactly what I needed to jump start my little funk. YAY!

Michelle Obama

Why couldn't she have run for president instead of Hilary? I would have totally voted for that woman. She's probably one of the best speakers I've heard in my life. Very family oriented, (which I love) intelligent, and funny. It's interesting how the press is putting such a personal touch on the democratic race, but I don't see that AT ALL with McCain. I suppose it's because he's old enough to be a grampa and it doesn't mean as much to people with young children. The only thing that bothered me in her speech last night was the whole "Barak sticks to his word," bru ha ha. So far, not true. He's flip flopped on lots of issues, so I'm curious how he's actually STICKING to his word.

Maybe Obama should have chosen her to be his VP. Now THAT would have been cool. I'm still on the fence who I'm voting for.....

Testing 1, 2, 3

I'm really not as big of a bitch as people might think. Really. I know I come off as abrasive and bratty, but deep down I'm just not. I'm commanding, and controlling but in a good way. I live with complete controlled chaos. Its necessary for me to function and necessary for my household to function. My philosophy has always been Jerry Maguire-ish. BRUTAL TRUTH. I know that's not always nice, but for me its just necessary.

I've been tested these past few weeks. With G, with my family, with my life... lots of tests. I think if I was to get graded on the family tests, I'd be getting like an F. I don't know why, but it's bothering me big time too. I honestly DO NOT enjoy people thinking I'm a spiteful person, because most people who know me KNOW that isn't me.

I try very hard to make everyone happily co exist because frankly it's just easier to live that way. I haven't been doing so well with that one in the family department. It's more like an out of control shit storm at this point, with me being blamed for every single thing wrong with the family universe. I didn't even start it! (Yes I know I sound like a whiny 4 year old, but Izzy gives me a lot of pointers!) I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought my family WANTED me to be nice and include others. I thought by asking for a favor that I was letting go of my control issues and delegating to someone else. I thought by dealing with an argument and airing out my true feelings, it would make others understand better. Nope, not true. Backfired in my face. I should have known.

My problem is this: I had to be nice to my ex brother in law for 10 years because I wanted my sister to be happy. (Sorry sis, don't mean to air your business!) I bit my tongue and smiled and pretended because everyone insisted it was the right thing to do. Bullshit. Looking back I wonder if I had told the guy what I really thought of him, maybe he'd take a second and be like well hey, maybe I do really act like that? Or maybe I am a selfish ass? Who knows! My point is, I never got the chance to talk to him about anything because everyone told me not to. I never got to ask him why he is the way he is because it wasn't my business. Because no one wanted to disrupt the tides. But honestly, look where it got my family...absolutely no where. I mean, sometimes people need to be told that what they are doing is NOT right! Right?

It's just this simple. If you can't be honest with someone, and tell them how you really feel then you are nothing but a liar and I can't stand liars. If that person chooses to take it negatively and shuts you out because of it, that's their prerogative. I'm not a lollipop dude. I'm not all sweet and pretty on the outside and fake and artificial on the inside. Sometimes I have to tell it like it is in a not nice way.

I know there's a reason for these tests... but I have yet to figure out what that reason is...

Just keep swimming...

I have a new found love for the Olympics. Two words:

Michael Phelps.

Really... I don't have much else to say about the subject either. Just... Michael Phelps. Nuff said!

Sorry babe...

Too young for here... too old for there.

This is an insane week. I mean, honestly today was the first time in a YEAR that I've had to wake up to the actual alarm at 6:30 as opposed to the Avery alarm around 7am. That's how seriously insane this week is. I've got Izzy's birthday weekend, yes weekend happening starting Saturday with dinner for the aunts and uncles and grandparents, followed by pool party with friends on Sunday for her ACTUAL birthday. Two parties... a bit much yes. But I'm over it. Then G's registration, PTA volunteering, oh and I have my first class tomorrow night. Yep, meez getting edumacated people! I'm officially a college student! A little pissed that I didn't get all the classes I needed, but the procrastination gene from D is rubbing off on me.

I always love doing PTA stuff for G's school. I'm the GIRL all the other PTA moms look at and go "uh why is there a student here?" And I'm all... hey HI my kid goes here and yes, I'm young and oh I don't wear grandma jeans. And they're like... oh wow she must have been a real slut in high school to have such an old kid. And I'm like... dude I may have been a slut, but that aint my kid. And then they're all... oh so you're the young husband stealer then! Yes That's WHAT I am! Too bad my husband is young and hot too and was just a stupid horny teenager and didn't use protection and had a baby when he was 17. Teens, use a condom!

Then there's school. I'm old. I mean, I'm the OLDEST person in my speech class. It's rather comical, and seriously I can't wait to hear what some of these 18 year old kids have to say about politics or the right to privacy on their myspace page or some other mind boggling speech that only a fresh out of highschool bad ass junior college kid can come up with. It should be special! God as my witness, I'll get out of junior college before I'm dead! Maybe I'll get tenure or something and they'll just wave me through if I stay long enough! YAY!

Fall is in full swing in our house!

Waking up in a cold sweat....

I'm in serious panic mode or something. Every night it's getting harder to get to sleep, and even harder to stay asleep. I'm not sure what it's all stemming from.

Last week I woke up and SWORE the fan was on fire and that my room smelled of smoke. I got up, turned it off, unplugged it, sat there, smelled it and then walked the entire house and the garage making sure nothing was on fire. Then I laid there... for an hour. Wondering if maybe I should go check the attic because THAT was the only place I didn't look. FREAK! Eventually I did get back to sleep only to be woken up by the Avery alarm at 6:45.

And of course D was at work. I mean I usually sleep very poorly when he's not home. I sleep even worse when he's not home and G is at her mom's. It's like I can't rest if my whole family isn't under the same roof. It's ANNOYING! I mean, the dog barks at any kind of noise so I know if someone was breaking in or something was happening, he'd be all over it, but it doesn't make me feel better when D's not home.

Then last night, I had a terrible dream that the 10 year reunion I'm planning was a flop. We couldn't get the minimum tickets purchased and had to cancel the whole thing. (Seriously hoping that does NOT happen!)

Apparently I'm having some anxiety!

Not you too, John?!?!

So John Edwards had an affair. And not only did he have an affair, but he had an affair after his wife had some serious breast cancer. Duuuuude. Seriously? Are there no faithful men in this world anymore?

The thing is for me, Bill Clinton has always looked like a cheater. Just the way he always hugged women I could tell he was a little womanizer. Usually, cheaters are fairly easy to spot. It's like having gay-dar. Yeah not very PC, but it's true. I'm not accurate in gay-dar, but I am pretty damn instinctual with my cheat-dar. So when these politicians kept coming on the air saying they were having affairs, I was all... well duh. The cheat-dar meter was totally up there for me. When that guy Larry Craig started soliciting people under the bathroom stalls, it was easy to raise my cheat-dar, but he threw me with the gay-dar.

But John Edwards? Seriously? Not a friggin meter read on my cheat-dar. No where. How could the man that talks about MORALS more than his political agenda be a lying cheating dirt bag? How could the man who's wife went through cancer VERY publicly during his first presidential run turn around and find some chick to do to make him feel better? What the hell is that about? Then he had the nerve to RUN AGAIN in 2008? All the while, knowing he had an affair two years ago! Did he seriously think that if he had continued his campaign that no one would have noticed the little affair? Didn't Bill Clinton get "impeached," for the little blow job incident in the white house? Did the dumb ass honestly think we'd be all, oh dude it's cool, you had an affair, wife had cancer, we understand that you lost your mind for a second there while she was getting chemo? Uhh no.

I'm seriously disappointed. Slightly ashamed. And oh my gosh, so sad for his poor wife. Praying that neither Barak or McCain have had an affair. I mean really. Can I get a decent person to run this country? And YES, I do believe that morals are more important than politics. If you have no morals, you have nothing.

Now, to figure out which presidential candidate loves his wife more has some friggin morals.....

Reasons why I need more vacations...

Seriously, I needed that vacation so bad, and it wasn't even a "vacation." For the past umpteen million years my whole family has gone to Pinecrest to go camping. I mean my WHOLE family. Mom, Pops, Sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. We usually take up 3 or more campsites. It is seriously my favorite thing to do.

We pack up loads and loads of unnecessary crap and drive two and a half hours to this gorgeous lake and go dirt camping. Nasty, dirty, so unbelievably fun.. dirt camping. During the day we sit at the beach and just do nothing. Float in our little rings on the cold lake water, drive the fishing boat to the other side of the lake scouting for jumping rocks, we kayak, we pick our noses... just do whatever. It's a little piece of heaven. The kids ride their bikes through the campsites, we sit around camp fires lighting our marshmallows on fire and drink and laugh and have just a relaxing time. Everyone takes turn cooking the best meals. No joe shmoe hamburgers and hot dogs for us. Fajitas, tri-tip, homemade chili, and all the Mexican breakfasts one can handle.

And oh my gosh... the stars. Incredible stars. THere's nothing like being that high up with all the huge trees surrounding the clearest sky with about a million more stars then we'd ever see down at our house. It's just something magnificent. I could sit in my little camping chair for hours staring up at those stars. Yeah, the kink in my neck would be totally worth it!

I think my most favorite thing to do is wake up in the morning, put the dog on his leash, hold my husband's hand and walk over to the grocery to get a Mexicali Mocha. They taste so dang good, and it is soooo nice just walking with our coffees and breathing in the smell of last nights campfires through out the campsites.

It was Avery's first trip and besides the horrible sleeping, she loved it. She played in the sand and got in the water at the lake. Izzy wanted to stay forever. Asked if we could move there. G, was mad that we had to leave. Actually, so were we. But it just gives us more of a reason to go back next year. And the year after that, and the year after that....

I seriously needed that.