It's totally different this year...

I remember exactly to the second what I was doing 7 years ago today. For some reason that morning D and I got up extra early because his truck was in the shop and I had to drive him over to his grandparents to borrow their car to get to work. It was his first year working for CDF doing the seasonal firefighter stuff. As we were driving down the street we kept trying to figure out why there was no music on the radio, but a lot of chaos and talking about a fire in New York. We both shrugged it off, I dropped him off and went back to our apartment and he drove to work. When I got home I turned on the TV and realized that stuff on the radio was quite the understated version of what was actually happening in New York. I watched in complete horror as the second plane careened into the second tower and remember Katie Couric's shakey voice asking "Did you see that, oh my god."

And with the rest of the Today Show viewers, I watched my first terrorist attack on my country. I was completely on the other side of the country, but felt like I was standing in the middle of Manhattan like a frightened little girl. It's like a slow motion shot that is etched in my brain. Highly unlikely it will ever dissapate. Several phone calls back and forth to D later explaining the images I was watching unfold on television, I heard someone say on the TV that they were evacuating the Sears Tower. Umm... oh. my. god. My father was IN that tower that morning on his business trip. It was probably the worst call I ever have had to make, to tell my mom that terrorists were taking over planes and crashing them into buildings and oh yeah, papa's building is being evacuated right now. I could tell over the phone how scared she was with me. Thankfully, papa was safe, and eventually made it home to us.

The rest of the day and the days to follow were insane. I remember so much of it, it's almost eerie. I remember D coming home after his 4 days up there just heartbroken. I remember thinking, oh I do NOT want this life. I want my husband to find a nice 9-5 job so that I don't have to throw up a little in my mouth every time he heads to work and puts his life on the line.

This year, for some reason it's different. I think now that D is officially a firefighter for life and this is his CAREER, I've accepted his path. I could not be more proud of my husband. Because I KNOW that if something like 9/11 happened again, he would do everything in his power to help anyone he could. He'd be the first one there, inside the middle of mayhem working his ass off to help our Nation. I know in my heart that he was supposed to do this. He has been called to duty to serve and protect. 7 years after those horrific attacks, he has cotinued his path and has never looked back. He knows exactly what he wants to do, and that this is what he was born to do. I could not love that guy anymore for it. He is my hero.

Today especially, I honor my husband, firefighters, service men and women, police, EMS and everyone touched by 9/11.