Frick, Ick.

Frick. Ick. FRICK!

Yesterday D's Battalion Chief called to let him know that he'd be going out of county on the OES Sunday.

For all my non-fire friends... this means: The Office Of Emergency Services (OES) is sending my husband and his unit out on a GINORMOUS 10,000+ acre fire that is far far away from his nice little fire house. In the wilderness! Where the fire is OUT OF CONTROL right now and there's no containment in sight.

You know, back in 2001 when we had only G on the weekends and D was working for the wildland fire people, I was still nervous when he got sent out for fires. We weren't married yet, and I was still used to sorta being by myself but I was still a nervous wreck when he was gone. Plus, I did NOT HAVE CHILDREN! I think the longest he was gone on a fire then was 10 days? I honestly don't remember. I remember it sucked, but I survived. The difference this time is he can't be gone for more than 7 days in a row, but still! 7 days!

I'm not gonna lie to ya, right now I'm freaking out. 7 years later I'm supposed to remember how to function without my husband and with 3 kids? I mean I have a hard enough time doing this every week by myself for 48 hours. Don't even get me started on the fact that my husband will be out in the middle of nowhere fighting a raging out of control fire! That's not scary at all! What if something happens to him? I mean, I just watched that Oprah episode with the poor woman who's husband killed himself and left her with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and she hadn't worked in years and only had $72.00 in the bank. Not that I'll be in a situation like that but STILL! ACK!

Poor kids are going to go through daddy withdrawls. Crap, I'm going to go through daddy withdrawls! I knew this day would come. When D was going through the background at work, I remember the investigator asking me SPECIFICALLY how I would feel about him being gone on these nutty strike teams. My answer was something about how I'm used to it and oh I'll be fine!!

Meh. I'm rethinking that answer now.

Frick!