Forgive me MASTER!

"Mommy, go cut me an apple!"

Como say what now? Who the... What the? Are you frickin kidding me right now? Did my 3 year old just say that? And I'm not strangling her yet?

GO CUT ME AN APPLE?

I'm sorry MASTER, am I not doing things to your LIKING? Forgive ME! I'm just MOMMY!!!

Where on earth did my child learn to be so sassy? Do I even have the right to blame this on preschool or her age or a full moon or something? Or am I just on the edge already with D being gone? It's only been 3 days! I have like 6 more to go before he graces us with his presence and returns from the smoke! I'm pretty sure if Izzy had said this to daddy, she would have likely been on the endangered species list. He would have lost it. I don't get why these kids think they can say whatever they want to their mother? Did I not BIRTH YOU?????

I'm ALL about the manners dang it! Say please and thank you. Don't say "Can you get me..." say "May I have!" Don't talk back to adults, share, don't swear, don't pick your nose, please wipe your butt, flush the toilet, wash your hands, etc. etc. etc! And to think that's just a few of the things that I try to continuously bang into my kids heads on a daily basis! Apparently I'm not BANGING HARD ENOUGH!

Seriously, I'm considering an exorcism or two! One for G, one BIG one for Izzy, and possibly one for myself for good measure. Maybe they'll offer a buy two get the third free or something. Does anyone know where I can get me a priest?