I sometimes freak out...

Sometimes when I get certain cravings I freak out. Like today, when I had a sudden major craving for vegetable Lumpia from this place in town, I immediately was all: Holy crap self! How could you be pregnant?!? And then I realized... duh. Aint possible. And THANK GOD.

Three kids is enough. Seriously. Even having that 4th stray step is enough to pull my hair out of my legs for a fun time. It's painful, but way less irritating and nauseating sometimes!

And then add to that there is always a stray child, a niece a nephew, a friend, a play date... etc. Annnnnd there's those leg hairs again. Yep, still more fun. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. I'd do anything for them, and I love my nieces and nephews but duuuuuuuuuuuuude, mama needs more than a 2 hour nap to calm the nerves. I think this whole not being at school summer crap is getting under my skin, and you know that sad part? It's only been like 2 weeks! No! It can't be! Seriously. Year round schools. Let's do this State of California!

It's not just me either, it's the kids. They are lost without structure. They don't know what to do with themselves just sitting around all day, PLAYING AND HAVING FUN! That is so not cool! We want school back!

I do. So bad. Too bad we have like 9 weeks left. (Insert BIG sigh)

This stuff shakes my core...

I'll admit, I'm a total fraidy-cat. I was NEVER EVER EVER afraid of anything before D got hired as a firefighter. It brought out every anxiety driven painful awful gut wrenching fear in my gut that I never even knew I had. I will no longer fly because I'm so afraid that I might die, and then the girls will be left with daddy, and WHAT IF HE DIES?!?! I'm pretty sure there's a pill for this (enter Prozac) but I'm trying to figure out how to overcome it without the happy pills.

And then there's days like these, where all my fears push and pull and tear at my heart and my soul and reaffirm my anxiety. And it sucks.

There are no words to describe the pain that I feel for this family that lost their brother today. No words. The family at SFFD, and the firefighter's family. An awful tragedy. Awful.

Rest In Peace Brother.

Aveeno Junkie

As I was showering this morning, I noticed something odd. I washed my hair with Aveeno moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and then washed my body with Aveeno body wash, washed my face with Aveeno face wash, and then I shaved my legs, with Aveeno shave gel. After I got out of the shower and put on my Aveeno face lotion! And when I went to bathe the small ones, yep... Aveeno baby wash. Dude.

Um, when did I become a brand whore? When seriously, I turned 30 and my skin turned sensitive and old apparently, and Aveeno is the only product in the world that doesn't cost a katrillion dollars and is AMAZING. Seriously. So far, I love all of it. Ever since I started using their new shampoo, my hair is stronger, shinier and it's GROWING finally! And my face started breaking out recently, because I don't know... adult acne is kicking in? So I started using the face wash and it is wonderful! I've used the face lotion for 10 years now probably, and just recently switched to the sensitive skin kind because again, weird old face now. I know I'm totally going on a ridiculous rant about a brand, but TRY IT! You'll like it! I promise!

I could be the National spokesperson for Aveeno with the amount of products I've been using from them! I'm counting at least 2 hands and one foot of Aveeno stuff that I have. CRAZY. Ridiculous. Pretty amazing.

Now if they'd only start selling make up...

HRH formerly known as...

Don't call me Audra anymore. Call me HRH. As in Her Royal Highness. Whhhaaat? Something wrong? I think it's awesome. And jeez, a girl can dream! Can't I?

This past week there was a wedding. Not just any wedding, but the wedding. THE Wedding. Of Prince William to Kate Middleton. And now that they are married, she's referred to as HRH. That is pretty frickin awesome. I want it. I'm stealing it. That's my new name and I'm sticking to it. For now.

The wedding was sooo amazing. And quick. My kind of wedding. Little ceremony, LOOOONG party. What blew me away and is still blowing me a way, is that wedding gown. Oh my gosh. That gown. It was perfect. In one fell swoop, Kate has changed the entire wedding industry. And I couldn't be happier. Bringing it back to modern, sleek, traditional. Clean. I love it. And oh my gosh, that dress designer Sara Burton of Alexander McQueen. She just made her mark on the world forever. That woman needs some serious kudos. I don't think anyone expected a dress like that. Oh and the lace, the lace. The long sleeves. And the sweetheart neck. Oh man. Breathtaking. I could go on and on. But here's some pictures, so I can shut up.



Tiny pictures. Sorry. But you get the idea.

So anyway... because I'm all over the place. I'm back on my wedding planning stint. Will and Kate inspired me to get off my butt and do something about it. Gracias Will and Kate. Signed, HRH

Just call me Martha...

I have seriously been a baking fool this month. I think it's because we have been stuck inside since it's rained 22 out of the 27 days of March. BOO! Usually I love the rain, but I swear to God it has rained and rained, and RAINED since we moved in back in October. Talk about a drag. I am so sick of this rain! So baking. Wonderful baking. Sort of a fun task to do since the weather sucks and it's cold. Nothing like trying to proof dough in the cold wet weather. But, alas I will say, I have mastered this yeast nemesis of mine, and made it my B&$%#!

I have always been intimidated by bread and rolls, and pretty much anything that requires yeast. It has never been my friend in the past. Apparently I've found some sort of patience, because really the only thing required for yeast, is that. Patience. Seriously. That's the BIG secret. It's always been a requirement of mine to be able to mix some stuff together, bake it, and eat it. But yeast is a whole different ball game. It requires sitting, and rising, and sitting some more, and the right temperature, and blah blah. AND then after it sits, and rises, you have to usually do something to it, and then let it sit and rise AGAIN! Jeez! So my 20 minute prep, 20 minute bake, 20 second eat, is out the window. It's more like 3 hours. But it has been passing the time for me and I'm in love. I don't think I'll ever buy whole wheat bread again. Because I am a skilled bread maker! AND I made The Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls from heaven, so I'll also never have to buy those cinnamon rolls out of the tube again!

Plus the kids love it, and they like to help when my OCD lets them. I'm going to need a heavy duty mixer though, because yesterday the KitchenAid started smoking during the kneading. A key indication that I have baked way too much this month. I guess I'll just knead by hand now. Good muscle toning. I bought a couple more cook books off Amazon to try out my yeast skills. I am salivating waiting for them to show up in the mail!

I am proud of myself. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm getting good at this baking thing! Woot! And I'm getting out of my funk, which is excellent for my health. I feel great!!!

Normal. Somewhat

Things I would really like to be again. Normal! Or, somewhat. Whatever I was BEFORE I got sick and then sick again, and now sick AGAIN! Seriously. I understand buying a home is supposed to be one of the most stressful times in one's life, but hello. Bought the house. Lived here for 4 months. Can we get on with it? Between me and the kids and the husband, one of us has been some kind of sick since January. And right before we bought the house, I was sick enough to warrant a trip to the urgent care clinic. Then there was the New Years fiasco and a trip to the ER. Then the kids got sick. Then we all got lice, then the little ones got sick. Do you get my drift here?

I am on day 7 of being sick again. And it's not like a cold, cough cough sick. It's like a lying on my death bed sick. Like, blood test, pee test and yes, stool test sick. O.M.G. Honestly. I have never in my life been this sick before for so long. Even the nurse at the doctor's office said "You again," upon my arrival there today to pick up my lab paperwork. YES I AM SICK OF YOU TOO LADY! I am sick of giving you $10 dollars every time I come in too! Thank God these women and my doctor are so nice or I'd be a very unhappy person right now.

I really really just want to be normal again. And I want my kids to be normal. And I want it to stop raining. And I WANT TO STOP COMPLAINING!

And I'd also like to be able to swim in our new pool. Thank you and good bye.

Lots and lots and noooo money

Sucks. I think all this DIY watching is making me obsessed with remodeling this house. I know, I know. We've only been here for 4 months but I'm dying over here. Or really, dying to get the nasty smell of smoke that occasionally wafers through the house. And I keep thinking that's the reason that we all keep getting sick. I know it's stupid, and it's probably not the reason but seriously between me and the kids, one of us has been sick since January. I blame the nasty smoke lingering in the walls. I'm trying to really prioritize what needs to be FIXED rather than altered. We just ordered new windows to try to control the outrageous PG&E bill. We need a new pool pump for sure, but that can wait. I'm really hoping the pump blows up so that can be covered under our home warranty. I'm pretty sure I've said that before. So far, the exterior stucco seems to be the biggest issue because it's cracked and water damage is threatening to seriously screw up the house. But holy heck re stuccoing a house is expensive! So far, I'm just trying to get estimates and figure out a budget, etc.

And beside that, we have no money. Seriously. No money. Enough to pay the mortgage, and the bills and that's about it. Oh and food. Food is important. The kids seem to be eating like rabid beasts lately. I can't keep enough fruit in the house. And that stuff isn't cheap!

And we're waiting patiently for our tax return. Great. Let's see how long that takes...